We’ve all been there – stuck in a work meeting that feels like it’s never going to end. If you’re looking for a way to make your next meeting better, then you’ve come to the right place!
Work jokes are a great way to break the ice and get people laughing. They can also help relieve some of the tension that can build up in a work environment. And let’s face it, we could all use a good laugh at work from time to time.
So if you’re looking for some funny work jokes to make your next meeting better, then read on!
1- Team work is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else.
2- I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
3- Nothing ruins a Friday more than an understanding that today is Tuesday.
4- If you can stay calm while all around you is chaos, then you probably haven’t completely understood the situation.
5- Our computers went down at the office today, so we had to do everything manually. It took me fifteen minutes to shuffle the cards for Solitaire.
6- Working in the mirror factory is something I can literally see myself doing
7- I got a job at a paperless office. Everything was great until I needed to use the bathroom.
8- If our boss makes a mistake, it is our mistake.
9- Where do computers go to dance? The disk-o
10- My resumé is just a list of things I hope you never ask me to do.
11- A worker walks into his boss’s office and says “I’ve got three companies after me right now, so if you want me to stay here, I’ll need a 5% raise.” The boss agrees and the man gets up to leave. As he’s walking out the door, his boss asks “What are the three companies after you?” The man replies “The electric company, the water company, and the gas company.”
12- Some people say the glass is half full. Some people say the glass is half empty. Engineers say the glass is twice as big as necessary.
13- Why can you never trust spiders? Because they post stuff on the web.
14- What is the best way to criticize your boss? Very quietly, so he cannot hear you.
15- The first five days after the weekend are the hardest.
16- I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
17- To make an error is human, to blame it on someone else shows management potential.
18- All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t buy happiness.
19- One day YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook will join together and be called: YouTwitFace
20- You know what can really ruin a Friday? Remembering it’s Thursday.
21- If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.
22- The only thing worse than seeing something done wrong is seeing it done slowly.
23- I always tell new hires, don’t think of me as your boss, think of me as a friend who can fire you.
24- He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
25- The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to upset you.
26- What’s it called when you steal somebody’s coffee? A mugging.
27- A work week is so rough that after Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.
28- I get plenty of exercise – jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.
29- Feeling stressed out? Make a nice cup of hot tea and then spill it in the lap of whoever’s bugging you.
30- I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
31- There is a new trend in our office; everyone is putting names on their food. I saw it today, while I was eating a sandwich named Kevin.
32- I tried starting a hot air balloon business, but it never took off.
33- A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
34- Why did the computer sneeze? It had a virus.
35- A salesperson came into an office one day and said “This computer will cut your workload by 50%!” The office manager replied “Great, I’ll take two of them!”
36- How do construction workers party? They raise the roof.
37- I use artificial sweetener at work. I add it to everything I say to my boss.
38- If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer…oh wait, he does.
39- One astronaut said to the other “I can’t find any milk.” The other replied “In space, no one can. Here, use cream.”
40- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
41- How does NASA organize a party? They planet.
42- A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
43- My boss told me to have a good day…so I went home!
44- If every day is a gift, I’d like a receipt for Monday. I want to exchange it for another Friday.
45- I don’t work well under pressure… or any other circumstance.
46- What does a gossiping coffee do? Spill the beans.
47- When I got to work this morning, my boss stormed up to me and said angrily “You missed work yesterday, didn’t you?” I said, “No, not particularly.”
48- When in doubt, mumble.
49- I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks
50- A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a workstation…
Also…Check out the 50 Dad Jokes That Will Make You Facepalm (But Secretly Laugh)