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Prepare to Set Sail on a Sea of Laughter with These Swashbuckling Pirate Jokes!
Ahoy, matey! If ye be lookin’ for some good laughs, then ye’ve come to the right place. Pirate jokes are a staple of pirate culture and are guaranteed to make ye go “arrrr!” So, without further ado, let’s dive into the world of pirate humor and discover some pirate jokes that will shiver ye timbers.
These pirate jokes are sure to make ye laugh and brighten up yer day. So the next time ye find yerself in need of a good chuckle, just remember these pirate jokes and let out a hearty “Arrrr!”
1- To err is human. To arr pirate.
2- How do pirates know that they are pirates?
They think, therefore they ARRRR!
3- Why’d the pirate go to the Apple store?
He needed a new ipatch
4- What do you call 3.14 men out at sea?
A: ‘Pi’-rates
5- What’s a pirate’s favorite exercise?
The plank!
6- Q: Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank?
A: Because they’ll just wash up on shore later.
7- What’s a pirate’s favorite music genre?
A: Arrrrrr & B
8- How do you save a dying pirate?
CPARRRRR
9- Have you heard any good pirate jokes?
Neither have ayeeee.
10- How much did the pirate pay for his peg and hook?
An arm and a leg.
11- What’s the name of the world’s most frugal pirate?
Barry D. Treasure
12- What do you call a pirate with no arms and no legs?
An expert pirate.
13- What’s a pirate use his cell phone for?
Booty calls
14- What’s a pirate’s worst enemy?
Termites
15- How did the pirate call his mate?
On his aye phone.
16- Q: Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
A: Because they can spend years at C.
17- What do you call a pirate mutiny?
A: A conspira-sea!
18- Why can’t the pirates fire their weapons on Saturdays?
A: They only cannon Sundays!
19- What’s a pirate’s favorite school subject?
A: Arrrrrr-t
20- Why did the alcoholic pirate stop drinking?
A: Because he’d rum out!
21- How do pirates prefer to communicate?
Aye to aye!
22- Why couldn’t the 12-year-old see a pirate movie? It was rated RRRRRR.
23- Why does a pirate prefer to drink in a bar that serves rum, instead of gin? Because it has mo’lasses.
24- What would you call a pirate with 4 eyes?
A: An iiiirate.
25- Why do pirates live life to the fullest?
A: They know how to seas the day.
26- Q: Why is pirating so addictive?
A: They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked!
27- What’s a pirate’s favorite musical instrument?
A: The guit-arrrr
28- Q: What did the ocean say to the pirate?
A: Nothing, it just waved.
29- What does the pirates say to motivate each other during a race? Rum bottle, RUM!
30- What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? RRRRRR!
31- Where do pirates keep their valuables?
In a jarrrrr
32- Why’d the pirate join Gold’s Gym?
To improve his booty
33- What did the pirate Santa Claus say?
A: Row, row, row!
34- Why are pirates always so healthy?
A: They get such a good dose of vitamin sea.
35- Q: How do pirates know that they are pirates?
A: They think, therefore they ARRRR!!!!!
36- What do you call a pirate who steals from the rich and gives to the poor?
Robin Hook
37- What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of food?
BARRRR-B-Q!
38- How do you turn a pirate furious?
Take away the “p.”
39- How much did the pirate pay for his piercings?
A: A buck-an-ear
40- Why do pirates bury their treasure 18 inches under the ground?
Because booty is only shin deep
41- Why don’t pirates go to strip clubs?
Because they already have all the booty!
42- Q: What has 8 legs, 8 arms, and 8 eyes?
A: 8 pirates.
43- Why did the captain wear a suit and tie?
A: He had a cor-pirate meeting.
44- What’s a pirate’s favorite song?
Answer: No song in particular—just the hook.
45- What does the pirate say when his leg gets stuck in the freezer?
Shiver me timbers!
46- Pirates make the best singers. They can hit the high sea notes with ease.
47- What do you call a selfish pirate?
A: Extremely arrrr-ogant
48- Q: What do ye call a pirate with two eyes and two legs?
A: A rookie.
49- Why did the pirate cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop
50- Where can you find a pirate who has lost his wooden legs?
Right where ye left him.
51- What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
You’d think it’s ‘R’, but it’s actually the ‘C’ (sea)!
52- What do you call a pirate with two eyes and two legs?
A rookie!
53- What’s a pirate’s favorite subject in school?
Arrrrt!
54- Why did the pirate go to jail?
He was arrrr-ested for high-seas piracy!
55- Why couldn’t the pirate play cards?
Because he was sitting on the deck!
56- Why don’t pirates take baths before they walk the plank?
Because they wash up on shore!
57- What’s a pirate’s least favorite vegetable?
Leeks on the ship!
58- What’s a pirate’s favorite exercise?
Plank-tonics!
59- Why don’t pirates go to the opera?
They prefer the arrr-ghestra!
60- Why was the pirate a great boxer?
He had a mean right hook!
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