55 Blonde Jokes That Deserve A Standing Ovation

Get Ready to Laugh with These Timeless Blonde Jokes

Blonde jokes have long been a popular form of humor, showcasing lighthearted stereotypes and poking fun at the fair-haired individuals. While it’s important to approach jokes with sensitivity and respect, there are plenty of blonde jokes that can bring a smile to our faces without causing offense. In this article, we present clever and amusing blonde jokes that deserve a standing ovation.

So sit back, relax, and get ready to enjoy these light-hearted blonde jokes that will surely tickle your funny bone.

1- Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.

2- Why was the blonde depressed when she looked at her driver’s license?
She got an “F” in sex.

3- If a blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who hits the ground first?
The brunette. The blonde has to stop and ask for directions.

4- Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband’s car?
A: She burnt her lips on the exhaust pipe.

5- Q: Why did a blond buy an elephant instead of a new car?
A: Because an elephant has a bigger trunk.

6- A blonde was driving to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said “Disneyland Left,” so she
turned around and went home.

7- I once knew a suicidal blonde.
Dyed by her own hands.

8- Q: Do you know why the blonde refused to take a window seat on the plane?
A: Because she just had her hair done.

9- What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brown?
Artificial Intelligence.

10- A blonde shot an arrow in the air. She missed.

11- Q: Why did the Blonde tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn’t wake up the sleeping pills

12- Q: What can I do to keep my blond friend busy for several hours?
A: Ask her to count the number of stairs of an escalator.

13- What did the blonde yell in an emergency?
What’s the number for 911?

14- Two blondes were walking along. One looked down and said, “Those are deer tracks.” The
other said, “No, those are bear tracks.” They were still standing there arguing when the train
came along and ran over them.

15- Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing out all the W’s

16- A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde run after him and says, “Wait, you forgot the remote!”

17- Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been sighted

18- I have a blond friend who needs 2 hours to watch a 60-minute long movie.

19- Q: Why did the blonde keep doing backstroke?
A: She had just eaten lunch and didn’t want to swim on a full stomach.

20- What does a blonde say when the doctor tells her she’s pregnant?
Is it mine?

21- A guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said, “Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes…”

22- What do you call an intelligent blonde?
A golden retriever.

23- Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre?
A: They apparently went to see “Closed For The Winter”

24- How do you make a blonde’s eyes sparkle?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.

25- Q: How do you keep a blonde busy?
A: Write “please flip over” on a piece of paper and give it to her.

26- Q: What does a blonde do when her laptop computer freezes?
A: She sticks it in the microwave.

27- T-shirt Slogan: “I’m a natural blonde. Please speak slowly.”

28- Brunette: Have you met my identical twin sister yet?
Blonde: No, what does she look like?

29- Q: What do you call a blonde who never showers?
A: A dirty blonde

30- What does a blonde make best for dinner?

31- Question: How do you keep a blonde in the shower all day?
Answer: Hand her a bottle of shampoo that says “lather, rinse, repeat.”

32- Why do blondes write TGIF on their shoes?
To remind themselves that their Toes Go In First.

33- Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard?
A: Grade 4.

34- Q: Why was a blonde running around in circles in her bedroom?
A: Because she decided to catch up on her sleep.

35- Q: What is the common phrase blondes say to their partners after having sex?
A: “I’ll be home in 30 minutes”.

36- Question: What did the blonde say when she saw the Cheerios box?
Answer: Omg, donut seeds!”

37- Q: Why should you never give a blonde a coffee break?
A: It takes far too long to retrain her.

38- What goes vrooom-screeech, vrooom-screeech, …?
A blonde driving through a flashing read light.

39- Q: What do you call a Blonde skeleton in the closet?
A: Last year’s hide and seek champ

40- A blonde orders a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it into six, eight or twelve pieces.
The blonde replies “Six please. I could never eat twelve”.

41- Q: Why was the blonde’s belly button sore?
A: Her boyfriend was blonde too.

42- What does a blonde name her pet zebra?

43- Blonde: “What does IDK stand for?”
Brunette: “I don’t know”
Blonde: “OMG, nobody does!”

44- Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a Blonde’s head?
A: A Space Invader

45- Why did the blonde put lipstick on above her eyebrows?
She was trying to make up her mind.

46- Q: What makes blondes smile when it’s lightning?
A: They think somebody is taking a picture of them.

47- Q: Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice bottle for 2 hours?
A: Because it said ‘concentrate’

48- Q: Why don’t blondes call 911 when they are in an emergency?
A: Because they can’t find number eleven on their phone.

49- Q: How did the Blonde die drinking milk?
A: The cow fell on her

50- Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, “Isn’t it dark down here?” She replies, “I don’t know. I can’t see.”

51- What do you call a blonde with an extra brain cell?

52- A blonde tossed a pin at me the other day. I ran for my life because she was holding a grenade.

53- What do you have when you discover a blonde skeleton in a closet?
The world champion of hide and seek.

54- Why did the blonde’s belly button have a bruise?
Her boyfriend is blonde too.

55- One blonde says to another, “I just took a pregnancy test.” The other replies, “Were the questions difficult?”

What do you think?

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