55 Little Johnny Jokes That Will Have You Laughing Until Your Sides Hurt

A Hilarious Compilation of Little Johnny Jokes to Brighten Your Day

Laughter is truly the best medicine, and when it comes to Little Johnny jokes, the laughter is guaranteed to be infectious. Little Johnny, that mischievous and quick-witted character, has been the star of countless jokes that have been shared and cherished for generations. These jokes often revolve around his innocent yet hilariously cheeky antics, leaving us in stitches.

Little Johnny jokes never fail to tickle our funny bones, and the funny jokes presented in this article are sure to have you laughing until your sides hurt. Whether it’s Little Johnny’s quick wit, innocent logic, or mischievous nature, these jokes capture the essence of childhood humor.

So, sit back, relax, and let the laughter wash over you as you indulge in the timeless joy that Little Johnny jokes bring. Remember, laughter is the best medicine, and with Little Johnny Jokes, the prescription is guaranteed to leave you in stitches!

1- Little Johnny’s teacher says to him, “Johnny! your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister’s!”
Did you just copy hers?, she asks.
Johnny says, “No, teacher, it is the same dog!”

2- Teacher: “If 1 + 1 = 2 and 2 + 2 = 4, what is 4 + 4?”
Little Johnny: “That’s not fair, you answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one!”

3- Teacher: “Now Little Johnny, be honest, do you say your prayers every night before dinner?”
Johnny: “No miss, my mother is a really good cook.”

4- Teacher asks, “What are you going to be when you get out of school?”
Little Johnny thinks for a moment and says, “An old man!”

5- Teacher: “It’s the fourth time you’re late for school this week Johnny! Do you know what that means?!”
Little Johnny: “That it’s Thursday, Miss Bramwell.”

6- The teacher wrote on the blackboard: “I ain’t had no fun in months.”

Then the teacher asked the class, “How should I correct this sentence?”
Little Johnny raised his had and replied, “Get yourself a new boyfriend.”

7- Little Johnny wonders why his dad is bald. So he asks his mom. “Mommy, why is dad bald?”. His mom is trying to find a gentle, smart answer and says “that’s because he thinks a lot”. After hearing that, Little Johnny pauses for a second. He then asks “So, mommy, why do you still have all your hair?”.

8- Teacher: “How far have you gone with your homework Johnny?”
Little Johnny: “About 8 kilometers miss. I went home with it and came back with it this morning.”

9- Teacher: “Why are you praying in class little Johnny?”
Little Johnny: “My mom taught me to always pray before going to sleep.”

10- 8. Teacher: “How much is half of 8?”
Little Johnny: “Up and down or across?”
Teacher: “What do you mean?”
Little Johnny: “Well, up and down makes a 3, or across the middle leaves a 0!”

11- Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry?
Because I helped her.
But that is a good thing! What did you help her with?
I helped her eat her gummy bears.

12- Teacher: “Does anybody know what we call a person who keeps talking when nobody else is interested?”
Little Johnny: “A teacher miss.”

13- A teacher in Sunday school once asked Little Johnny, “Johnny, do you believe in the Devil?”
“No,” said Little Johnny knowledgeably. “It’s just like with Santa Claus. I know it’s really my dad.”

14- Little Johnny was sitting in class one day, and the teacher was talking about life, and asked him, “Little Johnny, how do you want your wife to be like?” He answered, “Like the moon,” and the teacher said, “That’s such a beautiful answer because it’s calm and peaceful.” Little Johnny said, “No, because it appears at night and disappears in the morning.”

15- Little Johnny’s father asked for his report card. Johnny replied, “I don’t have it.” “Why not?” his father asked. “My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.”

16- Little Johnny: “Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?” Teacher: “Little Johnny, may I go to the bathroom?” Little Johnny: “But I asked first!”

17- Teacher: “What a strange pair of socks Johnny, one of your socks is green and the other is red.”
Johnny: “Yes, it is very strange. I have another pair at home exactly the same.

18- Teacher: “Johnny can you use a sentence with ‘definitely’ in it?”
Little Johnny: “Do farts have lumps in them?”
Teacher: “Of course not Johnny?”
Little Johnny: “Then I’ve definitely shat myself!”

19- Teacher: “Little Johnny, you are late to class again.”
Johnny: “But miss, you said that it is never too late to learn.”

20- Mother: “Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, you’ll get kids who will be very naughty to you!”
Little Johnny: “Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didn’t you?”

21- English teacher asks the class: “Which tense is the sentence ‘I AM BEAUTIFUL’?”
Little Johnny replies, “Clearly, past tense.”

22- Johnny: “Dad, have you ever been to Egypt?”
Dad: “No son, why do you ask?”
Johnny: “Well where did you find our mummy?”

23- Teacher: “I hope I didn’t see you looking at Tommy’s test paper.” Johnny: “I hope you didn’t see me either.”

24- Teacher: “What is an island?”
Little Johnny: “A piece of land surrounded by water except on one side.”
Teacher: “On one side?”
Little Johnny: “Yes, on top!”

25- “So what have you been doing at school today, Johnny?”
“I don’t really want to talk about it mom. You’ll see it later on the news, anyways.”

26- Little Johnny asks the teacher, “Can I be punished for something I haven’t done?”
The teacher is shocked. “Of course not, Johnny! That would be very unfair!”
Johnny is relieved. “That’s good to know,” he says, “Because I haven’t done my homework.”

27- Teacher says, “Johnny, I told you to write this poem out 10 times to improve your handwriting, and you’ve only done it 7 times.”
Little Johnny replies, “Well, ma’am, I guess my counting isn’t too good, either!”

28- Teacher: “Little Johnny, how do you spell “elephant”?”
Little Johnny: “E-L-E-F-A-N-T”
Teacher: “No Johnny, that in incorrect.”
Johnny: “Maybe it is wrong Miss but you asked how I spell it.”

29- Teacher asks Little Johnny to name two pronouns.
Little Johnny looks puzzled and replies, “Who? Me?”

30- Teacher: “Would you at the back of the room stop passing notes!”
Little Johnny: “We’re not passing notes. We’re playing cards!”

31- Teacher: “What is further away, Australia or the Moon?”
Little Johnny: “Australia, you can see the Moon at night!”

32- Teacher: “Where’s the English Channel?”
Little Johnny: “I don’t know. My television doesn’t pick it up.”

33- Teacher: “What can we do to stop water pollution?”
Little Johnny: “Stop taking baths?”

34- Teacher: “This note from your father looks like your handwriting?”
Little Johnny: “Well, yes, he borrowed my pen!”

35- Teacher: “If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?”
Little Johnny: “Big hands!”

36- When the class was asked what they would do if they hit the lottery, Johnny didn’t say anything and laid back in his seat. He said that if he hit the lottery, then he would have a secretary to answer the question.

37- Teacher: “I told you to stand at the end of the line?”
Little Johnny: “I tried, but there was someone already there!”

38- Why was Little Johnny crying?
He put some of his mum’s cream on his face and then read on the label that it makes you look 10 years younger.

39- Teacher: “What did they do at the Boston Tea Party?”
Little Johnny: “I don’t know, I wasn’t invited!”

40- One day, Little Johnny told his parents that he was ready to live alone. They were very proud of him and supportive, until Johnny said, “Great, I left your luggage next to the front door. See ya!”

41- A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.
Little Johnny replied: “They couldn’t get a babysitter.”

42- History teacher asks Little Johnny: “Where was the French – English peace treaty from 1800 signed?”
Little Johnny: “Bottom right corner.”

43- Teacher: “You know you can’t sleep in my class.” Johnny: “I know miss. But maybe if you were a little quieter I could.”

44- The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn’t paying attention in class.
She called on him and said, “Johnny! what are 4, 2, 28 and 44?”
Little Johnny quickly replied, “NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!”

45- Little Johnny’s new sibling was crying and screaming for hours. He asked his parents where they got him from. They reply, “Oh, we got him straight from heaven.” Johnny said, “Jeez. I see why they kicked him out of there.”

46- Teacher: “If you got ten dollars from ten people, what would you have?” Johnny: “A new bike”.

47- Teacher: “What is the most common phrase used in school?”
Little Johnny: “I don’t know!”
Teacher: “Correct!”

48- Teacher asks, “Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?”
Little Johnny pipes up, “HIJKLMNO”!
The teacher is puzzled, “What on Earth are you talking about, Johnny?”
Little Johnny looks hurt, “But sir, you yourself said yesterday that it’s H to O!”

49- Teacher: “Can you tell me something important that didn’t exist 100 years ago?”
Little Johnny: “Me!”

50- Little Johnny wrote: “Dear Santa, please send me a baby brother!”
Santa wrote back: “Send me your mother …”

51- Teacher: “Why are you late, Little Johnny?”
Little Johnny: “Because of the sign.”
Teacher: “What sign?”
Little Johnny: “The one that says, ‘School Ahead, Go Slow.'”

52- Teacher: “Johnny, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?”
Little Johnny: “You told me to do it without using tables.”

53- Teacher: “Johnny, can you name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago?”
Little Johnny: “Me!”

54- Teacher: “Johnny, your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?”
Little Johnny: “No, teacher, it’s the same dog!”

55- Teacher: “Why did you eat your homework, Johnny?”
Little Johnny: “Because you said it was a piece of cake!”

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