35 Pistachio Jokes That’ll Drive You Nuts with Laughter

Crack a Smile with the Nuttiest Pistachio Jokes Around!

Are you ready for a shell of a good time? Brace yourself for a delightful journey into the world of pistachio jokes that promise to crack you up, leaving you in stitches and driving you nuts with laughter. Whether you’re a fan of wordplay, puns, or simply appreciate the absurdity of nutty humor, these pistachio-infused jokes are sure to tickle your funny bone.

Pistachios, with their unique taste and distinctive green hue, have found their way into not just our snack bowls but also into the realm of comedy. As we explore these 35 pistachio jokes, get ready to experience the nutty side of humor. From clever puns about cracking shells to playful takes on the green snack’s quirks, this collection is designed to provide a hearty dose of laughter.

Jokes have a remarkable ability to bring people together, and pistachio jokes are no exception. As you share these witty one-liners and clever jests with friends and family, you’ll find that the simple act of sharing laughter can turn an ordinary moment into something truly special. So, without further ado, let’s dive into this pistachio-packed laughter extravaganza and discover the joy that comes from embracing the lighter side of life with a handful of nutty humor.

Pistachio Jokes - FG

1- What’s the nickname for a pistachio in space?
An astro-nut!

2- Why was the pistachio always secure?

It was in its shell-ter!

3- What do you call a pistachio that’s really old?

An ancient nut!

4- What does a pistachio enjoy doing in its free time?

Collecting shells!

5- What’s a pistachio’s favored board game?


6- What did the pistachio say to the walnut?

“You’re a tough nut to crack!”

7- What’s a pistachio’s favorite holiday?


8- Why did the pistachio head to the beach?

It wanted to sea shells!

9- How did the pistachio express its feelings to its date?

“I’m absolutely nuts about you!”

10- Why did the pistachio go to space?

It wanted to be the first nut in orbit!

11- What musical instrument is a pistachio’s favorite?

The shell-o!

12- Why did the pistachio break up with the almond?

It felt nutty in the relationship!

13- What’s a pistachio’s favorite dance move?

The nutcracker!

14- Why did the pistachio loved go to school?

To get a little more nutty!

15- How do pistachios stay fit?

They do a lot of crunches!

16- Why don’t pistachios make a good secret agents?

Because they always crack under pressure!

17- What do you call a pistachio with a black belt in karate?

A chop-nut!

18- Why did the pistachio always stay in the house?

Because it was a home-nut!

19- Why did the pistachio go to the gym?

To work on its shell-f esteem!

20- Why did the pistachio seek therapy?

It needed help cracking its tough shell!

21- What do you call a pistachio that’s gone bad?

A rotten nut!

22- What’s a pistachio’s preferred music genre?

Shell ‘n’ roll!

23- What do you call a pistachio that’s a doctor?

A health nut!

24- What’s the term for a pistachio in the military?

A tough nut!

25- How do pistachios answer the phone?


26- What did the pistachio say to the cashew during a race?

“I’m shell of a competitor!”

27- What’s a pistachio’s preferred color?


28- What do you call a pistachio that tells jokes?

A nutcracker!

29- Why aren’t pistachios great comedians?

Their jokes are too dry!

30- What’s a pistachio’s favorite movie genre?

Shell-shocking dramas!

31- What car brand does a pistachio prefer?

A shell-vrolet!

32- What’s a pistachio’s favored fruit?


33- What’s a pistachio’s favored dish?

Shell-fredo pasta!

34- Why was the pistachio always happy?

It had a shell of a time!

35- Why did the pistachio never forget?

It had a shell of a memory!

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