ChameleonMemes
Plant-Powered Punchlines: Vegan Jokes That Will Sizzle on Every Plate
Veganism is becoming more and more popular as people become aware of the health and environmental benefits of a plant-based lifestyle. However, like any lifestyle choice, veganism also comes with its fair share of vegan jokes and vegan memes stereotypes. While some of these vegan jokes can be offensive or insensitive, there are plenty of vegan jokes that are clever, humorous, and even uplifting.
Today, we’ll explore some of the funniest vegan jokes out there, so here are some vegan jokes that will even make a carnivore laugh. Enjoy!
1- Q: What’s the best way to keep milk fresh?
A: Leave it in the cow!
2- How do vegans get together?
They date
3- Who is Bruce Lee’s vegan brother?
Brocko Lee
4- Why do vegans make great workers?
There’s no egg-scuses!
5- Why did the vegans lose their mind?
Because all they ate were nuts!
6- What did the vegan man say to the fruit when he was hungry? Man-go and get me some good food
7- Why are vegan dogs hypocrites?
They always wear fur coats
8- How did a woman suddenly realize she wanted to go vegan? She got a wake-up kale.
9- Why didn’t the vegan investor invest?
There was too much at steak
10- Q: How do you know if someone is Vegan?
A: Don’t worry, they’ll tell you within the first 2 minutes of meeting them.
11- What is a heated discussion between a bunch of vegan people called?
Plant-based beef.
12- How do people turn vegan?
They quit “cold-turkey”
13- Why did the tomato blush?
Because he saw the salad dressing.
14- What do you call an argument between two vegans?
Not “beef,” just two people with bad tempehs.
15- How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, because a vegan can change anything!
16- Why do vegans have big engagement rings?
It’s worth a lot of carrots
17- Q: Why are most ghosts vegans?
A: Because it’s super-natural!
18- Which university do vegans graduate from?
Kale
19- What do vegans want?
Peas. When do we want it? Now!
20- Why are vegan jokes healthy?
They’re not cheesy!
21- Q: Why did the vegan get fired?
A: His job performance didn’t meat expectations.
22- If you think being vegan is expensive, think of all the money you’ll save when your friends stop inviting you out to dinner.
23- Why did the tofu cross the road?
To prove it wasn’t chicken.
24- Why was the vegan upset?
He had a lot of emotional cabbage
25- Give peas a chance
26- My girlfriend really changed after she became a vegan.
It’s like I’ve never seen herbivore.
27- What do you call a vegan who murders?
A cereal killer
28- I went vegan for love. Now I hate everybody.
29- How many meat-eaters does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They prefer to stay in the dark.
30- Why did the vegan get fired?
He didn’t meat expectations
31- Q: What was Aladdin called after he went Vegan?
A: Saladdin.
32- I like making jokes about vegetarians… but never about tofu, that’s just tasteless.
33- I hate vegan jokes, they’re soy cheesy.
34- Why do vegans love grapes?
For raisin awareness
35- Q: What does a vegan zombie eat for breakfast?
A: GRAAAAINNNS!!
36- What did the lettuce say to the celery?
Are you stalking me?
37- “As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting; but apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer.” – Adele Cliff
38- What do you call an argument between two vegans?
A Quornfrontation.
39- Q: Why are vegans the best friends in the world?
A: They never have beef with you.
40- How does a vegan threaten someone?
“I’m about to give you a beet down”
41- What did the vegan wear to the pool?
A zucchini.
42- I’ve come to the realization that tofu is overrated.
It’s just a curd to me.
43- What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?
Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.
44- How many meat-eaters does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they would rather stay in the dark about things.
45- Q: Why is almond milk called ‘milk’?
A: Because nobody could call it ‘nut juice’ and keep a straight face.
46- Do you know what being vegan is?
It is a huge missed steak.
47- “I could never go vegan!”
Said almost every person (before going vegan).
48- They have finally discovered the origin of the word vegan. It is apparently an old Indian word for “bad hunter”.
49- A young couple meet on tinder and are out on their first date.
The young lady asks the man what he does for a living?
The man replies “I am butcher.”
The lady replies “well I am a vegan and I think that is gross.”
The man responds “well if I sold vegetables I would be grocer.”
50- I was at a restaurant the other day and overheard this conversation.
Customer: “I don’t eat honey, eggs, cheese, dairy or any meat products. What can I get?”
Waiter: “You can get the hell out of here”
51 – What’s a vegan zombie’s favorite food?
“Grrrrraaains”… but the plant-based kind!
52 – How does a vegan propose?
“Will you be my plant-based partner in life?”
53 – What do you get when you cross a vegan with a vampire?
A creature that just wants to drink beet juice.
54 – How does a vegan answer the phone?
“Lettuce talk!”
55 – Why are most ghosts vegans?
Because it’s super-natural!
