Humor is a powerful tool that can help people connect and relieve stress. However, some jokes cross the line and become inappropriate, offensive, and hurtful. While there are many types of inappropriate jokes, some stand out for their offensiveness and the damage they can cause is usually in laughter.
Dad Jokes are not the only jokes that we all love, but sometimes, inappropriate jokes can cross the line from downright inappropriate to funny.
Here are some inappropriate jokes that will never be appropriate, no matter how hard you try:
1- What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?
I want you inside me.
2- Mum: “Darling, what is your Christmas wish this year?”
Daughter: “I would like to help people in need, I wish that Father Christmas would send some clothes to the all of the naked girls in dad’s computer.”
3- What did the elephant say to the naked man?
“How the hell do you breath and drink out of that small thing?”
4- A man walks into his psychiatrists appointment wearing nothing but cling film.
The psychiatrist takes one look at him and says “well I can clearly see your nuts.”
5- Buy a man a plane ticket and he will fly for hours, push a man out of a plane while it is in the sky and he will fly for the rest of his life.
6- What is much better than roses on your piano?
Tulips on your organ.
7- What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?
I want you inside me.
8- Why did the snowman suddenly smile?
He could see the snowblower coming.
9- What is the german word for a bra?
10- What is the difference between a hormone and a vitamin?
You can’t hear a vitamin.
11- When I die, I want to be cremated. It’s my last chance to have a smokin’ hot body.
12- What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blow job.
13-I was at the dentist the other day and he says to me “this might sting a little bit, are you prepared?”
I said “yes”.
He then went on to say “I am sleeping with your wife.”
14- They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Well, not if it’s poisoned. Then the antidote becomes the most important.
15- A little boy asks him mum “is it possible to eat electricity?”
The mother replies “no why?”
The boy then says “last night I heard you tell dad to turn the light off and stick it in your mouth.”
16- Did you hear about the man who ran in front of a bus?
He got tired.
17- I’ll never forget my grandma’s last words: “What are you doing in here with that hammer?”
18- I distinctly remember my mother telling me, “I do not have a favourite child.”
I found this extremely hard to take as a kid, mainly because I was an only child.
19- What’s brown and really bad for your dental health?
A baseball bat.
20- What do you call an over priced circumcision?
A rip off.
21- What is the best way to drown a hipster?
Throw him in the mainstream.
22- What kind of bees make milk?
23- I saw a man smoking in church on Sunday.
I was so shocked that I nearly dropped my bottle of gin.
24- Google is a woman because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before it makes suggestions.
25- What is the best thing to do if your partner starts smoking in bed?
Slow down, you are moving too fast.
26- What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
27- How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?
28- I asked my wife if I was the only one she had been with.
She said “yes, the others were all 8’s and 9’s outta 10.”
29- How do you find a blind man at a nude beach?
It isn’t hard.
30- What did the banana say to the vibrator?
“Why are you shaking? She’s going to eat me!”
31- A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were in their obstetrician’s waiting room discussing their pregnancies.
The brunette said she was certain she was going to have a boy, because she was on top when she got pregnant!
The red head said she was certain she was going to have a girl because she was in the missionary position when she got pregnant!
All of a sudden the blonde burst into tears. Between sobs the brunette & red head finally got her to tell them why she became so upset. She told them she believes she’s going to have puppies!!!!!
32- What did one butt cheek say to the other butt cheek?
“Together, we can stop this crap.”
33- A common male fantasy is to have two women at the same time; one to cook, one to clean.
34- An old married couple are in church service on sunday. The elderly lady leans over to her husband and whispers “I just let go a really long, silent fart. What should I do?”
The husband looks back at her and says “change the battery on your hearing aid”.
35- What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public?
A private tutor.
36- What does a vampire do with boiling water and a tampon?
37- Patient: “Doctor, I can’t feel my legs.” Doctor: “That’s because I just amputated your arms.”
38- Where could you find a horse with no legs?
— Where you left it.
39- You know what always catches my eye?
Short people with umbrellas.
40- How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
41- Why is Mrs Claus unsatisfied with Santa?
He only comes once a year.
42- Why don’t orphans play baseball?
— Because they don’t know where home is.
43- The best thing about taking a homeless person on a date is you can drop them off anywhere.
44- I went to see my doctor. He said I needed to provide a stool sample, so I enrolled in a basic woodworking course.
45- Why are people in wheelchairs always picked on?
— Because they can’t stand up for themselves.
46- A woman had two chickens. One got sick, so she it made chicken soup out the other one.
47- What’s the difference between your wife and your job?
After five years, your job will still suck.
48- Did you hear about the man who was run over by a motorcycle?
He was too tyred.
49- When my girlfriend dumped me, I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
50- What does a horny frog say?