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Laugh, Groan, and Cringe with These Hilariously Bad Dad Jokes!
Bad Dad Jokes are notorious for being corny, cheesy, and often downright cringe-worthy. They’re the kind of dad jokes that make you want to roll your eyes and walk away. But despite their questionable humor, bad dad jokes have become a staple of fatherhood.
Here are bad dad jokes that will make you want to leave the room:
1- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
2- I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
3- Why do ghosts go to bars?
For the boos.
4- Did you hear about the cartoonist found dead at his home?
Details are sketchy.
5- Did you hear about the guy who had his left side cut off?
He’s all right now!
6- I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
7- What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
Roberto!
8- What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
9- Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground?
He woke up.
10- Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other ‘Does this taste funny to you?’
11- I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
12- Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.
13- Why do ducks make great detectives?
They always quack the case.
14- Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?
They say he made a mint.
15- Have you heard the joke about the butter?
I better not tell you, it might spread!
16- I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist.
17- England doesn’t have a kidney bank. But it does have a Liverpool.
18- Why don’t scientists trust sea creatures?
Because they’re a little too shellfish.
19- What did the 0 say to the 8?
Nice belt!
20- I gave away all my used batteries today. Free of charge!
21- People are making apocalypse joke like there is no tomorrow!
22- Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.
23- Have you ever tried to eat a clock?
It’s very time consuming.
24- I’m a big fan of whiteboards. They’re re-markable.
25- I slept like a log last night. Woke up in the fireplace!
26- What did the police officer say to the belly button?
You’re under a vest!
27- Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
28- Why do chicken coops only have two doors?
Because if they had four, they’d be a chicken sedan.
29- Did you heard about the giant that threw up?
It’s all over town!
30- Did you hear about the girl who quit her job at the doughnut factory?
She was fed up with the hole business.
31- Last night my wife and I watched two DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the TV.
32- What do you call a belt made out of watches?
A waist of time.
33- What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Damn!
34- Two hats were hanging on a hat rack. One said ‘You stay here, i’ll go on a head’.
35- I wasn’t going to get a brain transplant. But then I changed my mind.
36- A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says: ‘sorry we don’t serve food here’
37- My cat was just sick on the carpet. I don’t think he’s feline well.
38- What’s the advantage of living in Switzerland?
Well, the flag is a big plus!
39- What do you call a group of killer whales playing instruments?
An Orca-stra!
40- What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta.
41- What did the mountain climber name his son?
Cliff
42- Why was the big cat disqualified from the race?
Because it was a cheetah!
43- Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling well.
44- What kind of magic do cows believe in?
Moodoo!
45- Why don’t you see penguins in the UK?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
46- Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems.
47- Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing.
48- I’m reading a book about teleportation. It’s bound to take me places.
49- Why don’t ants get sick?
They have tiny ant-bodies.
50- I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
51- Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France?
There was nothing left but de Brie.
52- What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, they just waved.
53- How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together.
54- What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
An irrelephant.
55- Why don’t oysters share their pearls?
Because they’re shellfish.
