55 Dad Jokes That Will Make You Facepalm (But Secretly Laugh)

Indulge in Cheesy Chuckles: A Collection of Dad Jokes Guaranteed to Elicit Groans and Giggles

Looking for a good laugh? Look no further than these 50 dad jokes that are sure to make you facepalm (and secretly laugh). From punny one-liners to corny dad jokes, these quips are guaranteed to elicit a groan and a chuckle. Get ready to roll your eyes and shake your head as you read through this collection of humorous gems. Just be warned: these dad jokes are so bad, they’re good.

Dad jokes are a special breed of humor, loved by some and groaned at by others. But love them or hate them, there’s no denying that they’re an essential part of dad humor. From puns and one-liners to cringe-worthy jokes, dad jokes are the perfect way for dads to bond with their kids and share a laugh.

There’s something about the predictability of dad jokes memes that makes them so endearing. You know the punchline is going to be terrible, but you can’t help but laugh anyway. Maybe it’s the way your dad delivers the joke with a straight face, or maybe it’s just the sheer ridiculousness of the joke itself.

No matter what the reason, dad jokes are a classic form of humor that will never go out of style. So the next time your dad tells a joke that makes you roll your eyes, remember that it’s all in good fun. After all, dad jokes are just another way for dads to show their love and make their kids smile.

The bank keeps calling

1 – The bank keeps calling me to give me compliments. They say I have an “outstanding balance.”

2 – Did you hear about the guy who froze to death at the drive-in?

He went to see Closed for the Winter.

3 – How does a penguin build his house?

Igloos it together.

4 – What did one plate say to another plate?

Tonight, dinner’s on me.

5 – I don’t trust stairs. They are always up to something.

6 – What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make?

Brrrroooom, brrroooom.

7 – Why is cold water so insecure?

Because it’s never called hot.

8 – What kind of drink can be bitter and sweet?


9 – What kind of shoes does a lazy person wear?


10 – Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?

He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.

11 – I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.

12 – What did the flowers do when the bride walked down the aisle?

They rose.

13 – What is the most popular fish in the ocean?

A starfish.

14 – Dogs can’t operate MRI machines. But catscan.

Happy childhood

15 – I had a happy childhood. My dad used to put me in tires and roll me down hills. Those were Goodyears.

16 – Sundays are always a little sad, but the day before is a sadder day.

17 – How do celebrities stay cool?

They have many fans.

18 – The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.

19 – I’ve been thinking about taking up meditation. I figure it’s better than sitting around doing nothing.

20 – I know a bunch of good jokes about umbrellas, but they usually go over people’s heads.

21 – Stop looking for the perfect match…use a lighter.

22 – Shouldn’t the “roof” of your mouth actually be called the ceiling?

23 – What’s Forrest Gump’s password?


24 – Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

Because they’re so good at it.

25 – I told my doctor I heard buzzing, but he said it’s just a bug going around.

26 – What was Sherlock Holmes’ favorite protein source?

Mystery meat.

27 – I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn’t like it.

28 – Why don’t pirates take a bath before they walk the plank?

They just wash up on shore.

29 – What’s a writer’s favorite train station?

Penn Station.

Rumor about butter

30 – Did you hear the rumor about butter?

Well, I’m not going to go spreading it!

31 – Why couldn’t the couple get married at the library?

It was all booked up.

32 – If two vegetarians get in an argument, is it still called beef?

33 – Why was the cow such a heartthrob on the farm?

He was a s-moo-th talker.

34 – A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

35 – Why was the dad sitting on a pack of playing cards?

His kid asked him to sit on the deck.

36 – Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

37 – Did you hear about the surgeon who enjoyed performing quick surgeries on insects?

He did one on the fly.

38 – I have a clean conscious—it’s never been used.

39 – When does a joke become a “dad joke”?

When it becomes apparent.

Two Sheep Walk Into A Baa

40 – Two sheep walk into a—baaaa.

41 – Why would doors do well on social media?

Everyone looks for their handles.

42 – What does a nosey pepper do?

It gets jalapeño business.

43 – Why was the ghost so tired?

He worked the graveyard shift.

44 – Today, my son asked, “Can I have a bookmark?”

I burst into tears—11 years old and he still doesn’t know my name is Brian.

45 – There’s only one thing I can’t deal with, and that’s a deck of cards glued together.

46 – I love telling Dad jokes. Sometimes, he even laughs.

47 – Try the seafood diet—you see food, then you eat it.

48 – Why didn’t Han Solo enjoy his steak dinner?

It was Chewie.

49 – What invention allows us to see through walls?


50 – What state is known for its small drinks?


51 – When does Friday come before Thursday?
In the dictionary.

52 – Why was the tailor fired?
Because he wasn’t a good fit.

53 – What kind of bug can tell time?
A clock-roach.

54 – How did the barber win the race?
He knew a shortcut.

55 – Why was the computer wearing glasses?
Because it wanted to improve its website.


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