55 Bad Dad Jokes That Will Make You Want to Leave the Room

Laugh, Groan, and Cringe with These Hilariously Bad Dad Jokes!

Bad Dad Jokes are notorious for being corny, cheesy, and often downright cringe-worthy. They’re the kind of dad jokes that make you want to roll your eyes and walk away. But despite their questionable humor, bad dad jokes have become a staple of fatherhood.

Here are bad dad jokes that will make you want to leave the room:

1- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

2- I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.

3- Why do ghosts go to bars?

For the boos.

4- Did you hear about the cartoonist found dead at his home?

Details are sketchy.

5- Did you hear about the guy who had his left side cut off?

He’s all right now!

6- I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.

7- What do you call a man with a rubber toe?


8- What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear.

9- Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground?

He woke up.

10- Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other ‘Does this taste funny to you?’

11- I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.

12- Why don’t scientists trust atoms?

Because they make up everything.

13- Why do ducks make great detectives?

They always quack the case.

14- Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?

They say he made a mint.

15- Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread!

16- I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist.

17- England doesn’t have a kidney bank. But it does have a Liverpool.

18- Why don’t scientists trust sea creatures?

Because they’re a little too shellfish.

19- What did the 0 say to the 8?

Nice belt!

20- I gave away all my used batteries today. Free of charge!

21- People are making apocalypse joke like there is no tomorrow!

22- Why don’t skeletons fight each other?

They don’t have the guts.

23- Have you ever tried to eat a clock?

It’s very time consuming.

24- I’m a big fan of whiteboards. They’re re-markable.

25- I slept like a log last night. Woke up in the fireplace!

26- What did the police officer say to the belly button?

You’re under a vest!

27- Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

28- Why do chicken coops only have two doors?

Because if they had four, they’d be a chicken sedan.

29- Did you heard about the giant that threw up?

It’s all over town!

30- Did you hear about the girl who quit her job at the doughnut factory?

She was fed up with the hole business.

31- Last night my wife and I watched two DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the TV.

32- What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time.

33- What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?


34- Two hats were hanging on a hat rack. One said ‘You stay here, i’ll go on a head’.

35- I wasn’t going to get a brain transplant. But then I changed my mind.

36- A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says: ‘sorry we don’t serve food here’

37- My cat was just sick on the carpet. I don’t think he’s feline well.

38- What’s the advantage of living in Switzerland?

Well, the flag is a big plus!

39- What do you call a group of killer whales playing instruments?

An Orca-stra!

40- What do you call fake spaghetti?

An impasta.

41- What did the mountain climber name his son?


Bad dad jokes

42- Why was the big cat disqualified from the race?

Because it was a cheetah!

43- Why did the banana go to the doctor?

Because it wasn’t peeling well.

44- What kind of magic do cows believe in?


45- Why don’t you see penguins in the UK?

Because they’re afraid of Wales.

46- Why was the math book sad?

Because it had too many problems.

47- Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing.

48- I’m reading a book about teleportation. It’s bound to take me places.

49- Why don’t ants get sick?

They have tiny ant-bodies.

50- I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

51- Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France?
There was nothing left but de Brie.

52- What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing, they just waved.

53- How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together.

54- What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
An irrelephant.

55- Why don’t oysters share their pearls?
Because they’re shellfish.

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