ChameleonMemes
Spice Up Your Love Life with These Hilarious Relationship Jokes!
Laughter has long been hailed as a powerful tool in building and strengthening relationships. It has the magical ability to dissolve tension, bridge gaps, and create bonds between people. When it comes to romantic relationships, laughter becomes even more potent, serving as a delightful aphrodisiac that can ignite sparks and keep the flame burning. In this article, we present 55 relationship jokes that are guaranteed to tickle your funny bone and prove that laughter truly is the best aphrodisiac.
From witty one-liners to clever puns, these relationship jokes cover a range of topics that couples can relate to. Whether you’re married, engaged, or in the early stages of dating, there’s something here for everyone. Marriage jokes, in particular, shed light on the hilarious nuances of wedded bliss, reminding us that laughter is an essential ingredient in a successful union. These relationship jokes not only provide a momentary escape from the daily challenges of relationships but also serve as a gentle reminder to not take ourselves too seriously.
So, sit back, relax, and get ready to chuckle your way through these relationship jokes. They’ll not only brighten your day but also strengthen the connection you share with your partner. Remember, laughter is a universal language that has the power to transcend barriers, mend hearts, and make even the strongest bonds stronger. Let the joyous laughter fill your relationship, and reap the benefits of humor in your romantic journey.
Relationship Jokes
1- My boyfriend asked to play doctor. I kept him waiting outside the bedroom door for an hour.
2- My girlfriend told me I ruined her birthday. I’m not sure how I did that when I didn’t even know it was her birthday.
3- Kid: “I heard that in some parts of the world a man doesn’t know his wife until they get married.”
Dad: “That’s true everywhere, son.”
4- How do people who work at NASA break up with their partners?
They tell them that they just need some space.
5- If you wish to break up with a person who is blind, what should you never say?
I think we should see other people.
6- Why did the banker break up with his girlfriend?
He started losing interest.
7- How many divorced men does it take to change a lightbulb?
No one knows. They never get to keep the house.
8- What should a man do if his wife insists that she is the main breadwinner and thus should be treated as the man of the house?
Divorce her and take the house.
9- Why is girlfriend/boyfriend one word but best friend two?
Because your best friend gives you space when you need it.
10- My son asked me what it was like to be married. I told him to leave me alone and when he did; I asked him why he was ignoring me.
11- Girlfriend: “Am I pretty or ugly?” Boyfriend: “You’re both.” Girlfriend: “What do you mean?” Boyfriend: “You’re pretty ugly.”
12- Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life? Her: Awww… Yes!!! Me: Good then stay 92.96 million miles away from me
13- A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.
14- My wife is definitely a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects.
15- I had a one night stand last year that went horribly wrong. We’re married now.
16- Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake a whole relationship.
17- A man, shocked by his friend’s appearance, asked, “How long have you been wearing a bra?” His friend answered, “Ever since my wife found it in my car.”
18- Why don’t horses ever get a divorce?
Because they’re always in a stable relationship.
19- Statistics say that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship is unfaithful.
I just need to work out if that’s my wife or my girlfriend
20- I once gave my husband the silent treatment for an entire week. When it was over, he said, “We got along really well there for a while!”
21- My girlfriend and I are trying this whole “long distance relationship” thing.
I have to stay 100 feet away from her at all times. Also, the police say I should stop referring to her as my girlfriend.
22- I asked my girlfriend which she liked better, my face or my body?
She said, “Your sense of humour”
23- I’m making a graph of my past relationships…
I have an ‘ex’-axis and a ‘why?’-axis.
24- I told my girlfriend that she was drawing her eyebrows on too high. She looked surprised.
25- Q: What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? A: He wiped his bum.
26- A man asks his wife, “What would you do if I won the lottery?” His wife says, “Take half and leave your ass!” The man replies, “Great! I won 12 bucks, here is six, now get out!”
27- A man is incomplete until he’s married. Then he’s finished.
28- With relationships, they say there’s plenty of fish in the sea…
But I’m just stuck here holding my rod
29- My Girlfriend said last night, “You treat our relationship like some kind of game!”.
Which unfortunately cost her 12 points and a bonus chance.
30- A lady comes home from her doctor’s appointment grinning from ear to ear. Her husband asks, “Why are you so happy?” The wife says, “The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old.” “Oh yeah?” quipped her husband, “What did he say about your forty-five year old ass?” She said, “Your name never came up in the conversation.”
31- One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in stunningly sexy lingerie. “Tie me up,” she purred, “And you can do anything you want.” So he tied her up and went golfing.
32- One easy way to lose a fight with your wife: Argue.
33- “Siri, why am I so bad at relationships with women?”
“This is Alexa.”
34- Algebra reminds me of my past relationships
I mean, have you ever looked at your x and wondered y?
35- My girlfriend says I don’t respect her privacy. At least that’s what she wrote in her diary.
36- Why do painters always fall for their models?
Because they love them with all their art.
37- Relationships are like Indian food
They start out hot and spicy but end up with someone on the toilet crying and saying why me.
38- In order to make a relationship work, you have to make a lot of sacrifices….
Which is why I keep a large number of goats in my garden…
39- Today I ended a long term relationship.
I don’t really care though, it wasn’t mine.
40- Had a nice long chat with my husband today after our WI-FI went down. He seems like a nice guy.
41- How do you know that Google is female?
Because it never lets you finish your sentence before making a suggestion.
42- How do you know that Google is male?
Because it thinks it always knows the answer.
43- Boy: calls 911 Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what’s your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning.
44- I bought my ex-girlfriend a mood ring for her birthday. When she’s happy, it turns blue. When she’s angry, it leaves a big red circle on my face.
45- Why should you never marry a tennis player?
Because love means nothing to them
46- Lady 1: “Why is your husband so punctual when returning home from work?” Lady 2: “I made a simple rule: sex will begin at 9pm sharp, whether he is there or not.”
47- Q: Why are most hurricanes named after women?
A: Because when they come they are wet and wild and when they leave they take your house and your car.
48- The most effective way to remember your girlfriend’s birthday is to forget it once.
49- I would never cheat in a relationship,
because that would require two people to find me attractive.
50- Wife: “Our new neighbor always kisses his wife when he leaves for work. Why don’t you do that?”
Husband: “How can I? I don’t even know her.”
51- Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
52- I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug!
53- My girlfriend told me I should treat her like a princess. So I married her off to a stranger in exchange for political alliance.
54- My wife told me I should be more affectionate. So now I have two girlfriends.
55- My wife accused me of being immature. I told her to get out of my fort!
