ChameleonMemes
Proceed with Caution: These Offensive Jokes Aren’t for the Faint-Hearted
Warning: This article contains offensive jokes that may be deemed inappropriate by some readers. discretion is advised.
We’ve all been there – someone tells a joke that we find offensive, and we’re left feeling offended, uncomfortable, and maybe even a little angry. But what if these offensive jokes were actually funny? Would that make it any less offensive?
Probably not.
Offensive jokes are a staple of comedy, and there’s a fine line between what’s Funny and what’s just plain offensive. It’s a line that comedians walk every day, and sometimes they cross it.
In this article, Chameleon Memes has compiled a list of offensive jokes that are sure to offend someone. So if you’re looking for a laugh and don’t mind offending someone, then read on!
1- What was David Bowie’s last hit?
Probably heroin.
2- My wife left a note on the fridge saying, “this is not working”.
I don’t know what she’s talking about, the fridge is working fine.
3- My therapist said time heals all wounds. So I stabbed her.
4- What do girls and noodles have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them.
5- So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, “Why do you watch that? You still cant cook,” and the wife responds, “Why do you watch porn? You still cant fck.”
6- What did the oven say to the chicken?
“I can’t wait to have you inside me.”
7- What goes in dry and hard and exits soft and wet?
Bubble gum
8- What do you call a prawn that loves smoking cannabis?
Seafood marijuana
9- What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students?
A PDF File.
10- Why doesn’t Mexico have a Olympic team?
Because everybody that can run, jump, and swim are already in the U.S
11- Why do my boyfriend and instant noodles have in common?
They’re both done in two minutes
12- What happens if a Asian with an erection walks into a wall?
He breaks his nose
13- How many Emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
14-There is a white boy, a Mexican boy, and a black boy who are all in the fifth grade. Who has the biggest dck?
The black boy, because he’s 18.
15- How do you know if a fisherman is single?
He’ll be a Master Baiter
16- Why are women like KFC?
After you’ve finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
17- What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.
18- Where can you never take an orphan for dinner?
A family restaurant
19- What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless
20- I’ve been taking Viagra for my sunburn.
It doesn’t cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs.
21- What did the spider say to the toilet?
Oh my god, you scared the shit out of me!
22- Today was a really bad day. My mother-in-law was hit by a cab AND I lost my job as a cab driver!
23- Real men don’t wear pink…
They eat it.
24- What’s worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face?
Finding out it was traced.
25- What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts.
26- Why are obese jokes so offensive?
Because fat people have enough on their plate
27- What do you call a deaf gynecologist?
A lip reader.
28- Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose?
They couldn’t close his casket.
29- Did you hear about the blind prostitute?
Well, you got to hand it to her.
30- I just got my doctor’s test results and I’m really upset about it. Turns out, I’m not gonna be a doctor.
31- How is having fun with a prostitute like bungee jumping?
You’re dead if the rubber breaks.
32- I hope Death is a woman.
That way it will never come for me.
33- Why do cats make the perfect animal for experimentation?
Because they have nine lives
34- Say what you want about pedophiles…
But at least they drive slow through the school zones.
35- What is the difference between my girlfriend and an umbrella?
Only one of them ever gets wet
36- How do you know where COVID-19 is manufactured?
It will have a sticker on the bottom saying “Made in China”
37- What do elephants use for tampons?
Sheep.
38- “Why is my sister named Rose?” asked the boy. “Because your mum loves roses. You knew that already that, Cocaine.” Replied the dad.
39- What do KFC and pussy have in common?
Both are finger lickin’ good and after you are done eating you have a box to put the bone in.
40- Four gay guys are sitting in a Jacuzzi when all of a sudden, a condom starts floating. One of the gay guys turns around and asks, “Okay, who farted?”
41- What is my favourite thing about my grandpa?
His life insurance
42- What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
43- What is the difference between onions and my dead grandma?
I cried when I cut up the onions
44- Why do nerds like playing tennis?
Because it’s the only love they get
45- The difference between like and love is spit and swallow.
46- Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?
Because they just keep getting harder and harder
47- Why is a woman with no breasts a pirate’s delight?
Because she has a sunken chest.
48- What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off.
49- Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me?
Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.
50- Son: How do stars die?
Dad: An overdose, usually.
51 – I bumped into Hitler and, surprised, asked what he was planning. He replied, “I’m going to kill 6 million Jews and two clowns this time!”
“Why two clowns?”
“See? No one questions the Jews.”
52 – Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?
Neither have they.
53 – Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team?
Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim is already in the U.S.
54 – What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?
He wiped his bum.
55 – What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics?
Having arms and legs.
